Sadness Over Me

i have many thousand times to moving forward then try find another reason why i must leave you behind. But, after i pushing my heart over my head, i was devastated knowing it was so impossible to it.

I haven seen you in many times within several described and places. On table,paper, sky, even star, then i was closed my eyes you were still there and knocking my heart so bad. I trying runaway from anything had mentioned about you. Little while i picking other pics on it, your gallery pullout them from my insanity.

I have still remembered your sadness ini your eyes when you said i never been existed without me. Your smile had been grain over and over so i couldnt helped my self to mourning anything sadness in your life.

Untill now, i have still heard your beautifull voice become orchestras so tender. Every moved we had ever been throuhgt still remains me today. Now and then, i wish God will showing us the right way for eternal love. I hope it.

Dark_Love_of_Me

So, maybe it will be the end of my passion of you. I knew earlier, this circumtances never been right for us. Just look forward, i think i was doing wrong with some my decision. I thought i just make some played for me. Could you remember at that time where you pick me for difficult situation? But, i think you dont know about these things. Surely.

I dont know your agreement of my own decision. I stepped down so long way and i didnt find the best things would be good for us. I have just thingking this our relation so complicated and there was worst behaviour gonna followed it our history.

I have remains all that our memory before. So many sweetest things and i admitted, i never been so jealousy in my many related love history. See? You even dont know how my-day in currently. soon or later, i should go then left you behind for all that moment we had been created.

I hated know this is must ended and you not been telling by me. Dont blamed me for left you after these happens between us. I just trying be realized for good and bad things. I never trying to play your heart but inside of part in my side either, i felt guilty for something. Sorry for me, ever.....!!!!!!!

"It's All Coming Back To Me Now"

if i heard this song, suddenly i remains that the day for someone who i loved. Then, this song represent my feeling, now and then, if i remembered him.


There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,

mY_daRk_SiDe

Maybe this not good time for complaint. I knew it and i felt it before. So, i have been trying pursuit anything facts behind me. Some guys come to me but i never knew what inside their thought. So, i must completely my sign of in it.

Lately days, i had confusing about my own self. I have caught my self stuck on dark labyrinth and put me away from light. I always being the same in this position. Good things, i look like find my joys, and bad things (as usual), i am so weakness fo severe damage would be happen to me. i think.

I must confessed my self. I telling my deeply inside heart for someone who i thought beloved with him.---> "one day you will find me as you ever promise to me. Has ever been just once you took me in your mind then tell your own heart how closely connected we are. That's way i trust in you wherever you been now. For bad and good times, love will brings us", saying me, so soft and tender.---->(some stupid words).

But, suddenly, i had laughing it more and more because i am insisted there some words does meant nothing for me. It was like shadow in dawn before sunrise comes and they are gone with lighting of the day. What and for who i created these words even a while i always made playing with some hearts over me and never realised it would be worst for the next, maybe especially for me,:(

I hated felt in love with you, i hated knowing you then made me so sad after that. But above all this, i hated you when i knew it you loved me so much than ever i thought before. You hurted me with your pure love.

bonding of love

Awalnya, Aku tidak tahu, seperti apa rasanya
kehilangan malam-malam ketenangan itu. Karena, aku pun
sering bertanya, benarkah malam-malam kemarin memang
ada? Aku pun sendiri tidak mengerti apakah hari yang
lalu itu memang pernah ada atau hanya sekedar bunga
kerinduan pada makna kesejatian cinta yang dititipkan
Sang Khalik ke hati insan Ciptaan-Nya?

Tiba-tiba, aku menjadi seorang yang peragu terhadap
diriku sendiri. Aku mencoba melemur hatiku dalam
ketidaktahuan makna. Dan ternyata,ketika kucoba
bernyanyi dalam sunyi, seketika itu aku yakin, aku pun
telah kehilangan hari-hariku belakangan ini.

Siapakah si pencuri itu? Saat aku bertanya Pada-Nya,
Ia hanya tersenyum dan membelaiku dengan sebuah
bisikan yang lembut. "Tidurlah, karena Aku yakin
mencintai adalah seperti menantang matahari.

For my dearest, i always think of you day and at night.....

hater-dreamer-lover

I have got my self trapped on two sides and hurt my anyway in that moment. I have been dreamed one day i found my true life would came to me and saying i will be happily ever after with someone who i beloved. When i was trying looking for my reflection, i did understood more people have opportunity doing the best in their life. I did but i felt some mistaken followed my footsteps.

I will always believe in enthusiasm connected with my own so i am no such great personality for making good kindness for me. I confession my own that i could not left behind on that way, someone whose leading my life for good things.

Good Lord, i missing my devoted love and i desperated for searching him. I hated times so slowly for me. Ever. Coz, i want his lovely face took over in my mind so i dont need painter making him so clearly. i have being hater, dreamer, and lover on this pattern.

most complicated things

There are no flights for how i came runaway from it. Without seeming own personality who will know credible people so far. I knew, synthesizes behaviour in that other person might be entirely was not right. But, who will look at me then saying am i right for that principle.

Yes, i did responsible for managing anything from past and it would be giving me opportunity external kind, maybe. Perhaps even desirable man met me, i will talk later how i missed my man from my last loving life.

Cast with an eye toward authenticity rather than just seeing by heart meaning so complicated for me. And, after some poeple saying to me about the best things, i am then agreed for one reason. Love without needed.