Preeminent of Existency

I would never consider being evil for anyone. Then, if they said so, might be i had reason why should i do that. Let's we see in different point of views. I thought we made some decision for all those. When it finished so before long, it is not my blooper or bad intention from me.

All i know,i just always trying being nice for anyone. God knows my heart would never hurt anybody. I was taught to be friendfull for other in case i hope they would give me payback in good things too. I knew few people thought they did it to me with pleasant and hope i would be delighted. I am appreciated it even maybe it would make my life become ruined.

Then when friendship is over now in means God choose the best way to showed how people sometimes never tried believe hurt it doesnt means sad and happines it doesnt mean cheers, always. Then, i choose the best way of my life for someone i loved with light's of God at there. Might be it risky, some friends says, but there is no chance without risk and also in Chinese proverb, risk it means chance.

Wishing the best for everyone that thought i might be hurted them. There was something we never know. Look at that picture and then we will find preeminent of existency human being on it.

Mistikus Cinta

Ketika pertama kali
Jiwamu ingin selalu dekat
Dengan jiwaku yang belum bisa
Menterjemahkan segala
Arti pertemuan ini
Arti cumbu rayu ini
Yang mungkin bisa memusnahkan
Kenyataan hidup yang terjadi

Ketika jiwamu
Merasuk ke dalam
Aliran darahku dan meracuniku
Ketika jiwamu, memeluk hatiku
Dan biarkan jiwaku cumbui jiwamu

Ketika kamu, aku
Melebur menjadi satu
Dan hanya waktu yang mungkin bisa
Memahami apa yang terjadi

Apa yang sedang kurasa
Apa yang sedang kau rasa
Adalah cinta yang tak bisa
Dijelaskan dengan kata-kata

Untrusted Feeling

There are many ways to know how about people intention to me. I can be good friends, liar, teacher, sister, or maybe devil’s. In several occasion, I said, maybe I use worst ways to get know about it, but this is me. It builded by my journalist insting and maybe not much people would agreed with it and I unstated with them without complained,.

Even they called me devil’s or some worst words I am still okay because u knew them well they always misunderstood me. But, if I had intention to someone with depth, I think he knew it where is my heart go. Do not make complained to me because he knew me already. It called true lover. But, maybe I did mistake about how deep he knew me. So, it is what it is. I still damn right, how people always misunderstood my way. So it is way to showed me nobody knows me. Good thing.

If untrusted come between, how come feeling could bond stronger because untrusted become poison and destroyed true feeling.So, let time bring us to showed who will be right on this feeling. I still believe, Allah still love me on my own way.

Song of the Suling

Aug10 2007 for: Widiya Buana. By: Khalil Ali


The song of the suling,

Cries…

Crooning the story of my longing,

To be again, with you…


Yet, instead of the sadness,

With it’s desire to kill me;

I place you in my Hati,

As an Idol!


I long for you with,

Happiness…

And I busy my life with good works;

Preparing for the day of our, re-Union.


As it is for you, so it is with God.

My longing for you and my Love,

are but a reflection of the yearning I hold,

To be again, with our Allah! Amin.

Stone on Someone

i had nice thing to say. this all about small stone i found when walked around for got some freshy air. Not much know about stone including me. I am just simple girl and went out for something new. I never thought i would find curious stone on my way. None of Us will be know what will be found on road. We just know there should be something new out there prepared for us.

Then i brought this stone to my home, touched it, wondering, why such stone like this i found near my foosteps. This stone very unique seems there are sparkling light out into it. I guise at, rowling my eyes, and make sure there was nothing special on it. But why my heart so close with it?

Stone sometimes refer to rock. It made by some particles, minerals, and maybe the texture of the constituent particles and by the processes that formed them. I love to say stone, because it sounds very strengthen and powerfull. Stone refer to standing on principle or might be solid heart.

I knew already then why God had intention i found stone because stone sometimes being shaped into people. I knew it that stone build on into someone i have knowledge about him and i cannot denied he is stone in many things. Like in his heart,thought,principle, and even in love.

Two of Us

Look at me more please and i will telling you there was so much things you should know. When flowers bloosom at May and spread the scent then mantled me with it i am really naturally woman in every single day u ever seen before. Needs comfy, related, and sometimes need to be pampered.

I dont need more belongings for. Seems not important to said but it wasnt word i said for executed. When i felt alone i could seeking you for secure me. Maybe, in that day, i could say not have own emotional with you. Like When moon covered by cloud. But, there was reason, why i shall hiding more for makes my feel unbreakable.

Today, asking me about some tough question maybe couldnt heal your sad about me and my own feeling. But, remember, times would recorded our wishing, send to sky, and go back to earth in different way. Well, i could be anywhere and belong's to you ever. Just two of Us. Wherever your soul are been formed into star, stone, land,flowers, and might be formed being my heart. No one knows....

Little While on My dreAm

Some called me i am a dreamer. Whatever i did they always said so. Might be i am forlorn and could been locked my self in the solitary room. There so many reasons why i was seemed like forlorn just as i do never curiously about how i am being on it. Okay, i love to be dreamer because dreamer could reach top of the world, digged depth of sea and even grasped universe on my hands. That's me.

With my dreams, i knew how fond someone with my own maybe some awkward attitude where is people do not understand it at all. But, this is differently story. I met someone on my way with stranged then looking into my eyes. He smiled at me and he didnt say anything. I felt, i ever seen him at somewhere but i doubted, was i met him on my real life or he comes into my dream before that time.

I was thinking harder to find who is he? Then times walked on and passed me through and he is gone in my view. I thought he would be come back and said something about him self, but he did'nt so i was trying find him on my own way.

Gradually, i begun knew him and he was blind man on my was dream. He was wise man, taught me how to look anyone not with my own eyes on but within heart. "Eyes can be lying by appearances but heart cannot be. Trust your heart and happines would be yours," he said me while holding my hands with gently. I didnt know him but he showed up infront of me when my heart trying to fight what's real i wanted in my life. He comes and go like smoke and he still on my wandered about who is he in existance of universe. "Better blind with our eyes than our hearts"

My_Déjà _Vu

I have something new about life. I have been there in so many times but very awkward why i felt this time. The space when i belong to but never been felt before. it just like you are realized you had nice eyes by now even though you had it for many years along.

I do believe what people called deja-vu and i felt this morning.When i sat in next window over me, i felt it was happening me in previews years. I caught small bird with my eyes then flied into sky and left some smooth step in corner my heart. I have learnt why brain did it and some science called Deja-vu.

The term déjà vu describes the experience of feeling that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously. The term was coined by a French psychic researcher, Émile Boirac (1851–1917) in his book L'Avenir des sciences psychiques (The Future of Psychic Sciences), which expanded upon an essay he wrote while an undergraduate French concentrator at the University of Chicago.

It doesnt means because i have French friends and there were something called French Connection. I have little bit indulgent my self for passioned and found not most of it's was okay for me. Well, for good reason i still sync

Je T'aime... Moi Non Plus

- Je t’aime je t’aime
Oh oui je t’aime
- Moi non plus
- Oh mon amour
- Comme la vague irrésolue
Je vais, je vais et je viens
Entre tes reins
Je vais et je viens
Entre tes reins
Et je me retiens

- Je t’aime je t’aime
Oh oui je t’aime
- Moi non plus
- Oh mon amour
Tu es la vague, moi l’île nue
Tu vas, tu vas et tu viens
Entre mes reins
Tu vas et tu viens
Entre mes reins
Et je te rejoins

- Je t’aime je t’aime
Oh oui je t’aime
- Moi non plus
- Oh mon amour
- L’amour physique est sans issue
Je vais je vais et je viens
Entre tes reins
Je vais et je viens
Je me retiens
- Non ! maintenant viens...

Word Dont Come to Easy

Words by F.R. David

Words, dont come easy to me
How can i find a way
To make you see I love you?
Words dont come easy.
Words, dont come easy to me
This is the only way
For me to say I love you
Words dont come easy

Well i'm just a music man
Melody's so far my best friend
But my words are coming out wrong
and I - I reveal my heart to you and
hope that you believe it's true 'cause

Words, don't come easy to me
How can i find a way,To make you see i love you? words don't come easy.
This is just a simple song,That i've made for you on my own.
There's no hidden meaning you know,when I - when i say I love you honey,
Please believe i really do 'cause

Words, dont come easy to me
how can i find a way
to make you see I love you?
words dont come easy It isn't easy
Words dont come easy

Words, dont come easy to me
how can i find a way
to make you see I love you?
words dont come easy

Words, dont come easy to me
This is the only way
For me to say I love you
Words dont come easy

Touch My Heart

Touch My heart

Touch my heart and I'll touch yours
With a gentle word or two,
For kindness bears the sweetest fruit
That makes our dreams come true.
Touch my life with tenderness
And fill my cup with love.
Share my dreams as I share yours
Beyond the stars above.
Take my hand as I grow old
And lead me when I'm blind.
Show me that you really care…
Good Friends are hard to find.
Touch my heart and I'll touch yours
A little more each day
And then we both find happiness
Somewhere along the way.

PS: FOr J, thank you for sweestest things you done for me

Lady in The Black

LADY IN BLACK. A RARE QUALITY THIS LASS HAS, POISE, SOPHISTICATION AND ALL THAT JAZZ.
A QUEEN INDEED THIS FRIEND OF MINE, SHE SURE IS LOOKING MIGHTY FINE.
LADY IN BLACK--SIMPLY DIVINE.

JUST LOOK AT THE ANGEL IN THE FUSCHIA DRESS.
ISN'T SHE A SIGHT TO SEE;THIS DEAR WIDI KEEPS ME COMPANY.
WHEN AT NIGHT SHE WORKS SO HARD,
SHE BECOMES MY DARLING BARD.
WRITING IS HER FAVORITE JOY,
GEE AM I A LUCKY BOY.
KISSES, JOHNNY

Been Here Before by Jeremy Enigk

Been here before Though there's something in the air this time Now I wanna give away what I've taken back Run away with you toward the night

A thousand names. Though there's something in me cannot smile, don't wanna spend the day retracing steps. Run away with you toward the light.

I can't stay long in the morning. Another one went wrong it's ok now that you're gone. Only in your eyes a sudden need I sympathize.

A diamond daze A thousand strands of sunlight in her eyes. Now I wanna give away what I've taken back. Step away with you toward the night.

I can't stay long in the morning. Another one went wrong it's ok now that you're gone. Only in your eyes a sudden need I sympathize.

It's ok now that you're gone. Only in your eyes a sudden need denied I empathize. it's ok now that you're gone Hurry up and sleep, to the night you go

Me Over the Hollow Man

I never felt this things before. Like seems hollow man catched after me. I had looked for man with stranger character. Nobody could helped me from him. Firstable, he stunned me well with his good looking face.

But, it was so annoyed. I had became so haunted by him. I expected not to see him anymore. if i had seen his face it was seems like i turning on black tunnel, spinning me around. His tone sound tight me in crawling devil then i couldnt so far from him and soon. He ruined my soul without my permission. I did nt like him but my heart looks like underspelled by him.

He was looks like an angel for first but after that he became beast. He always insisted anything and very unfaithfully. How come he is been in this situation? Hopely all memorized gone about him then flushed away. I even dont want to look in his face.

I thought he must lighting up his day with something new. He said dont want anyone but me. I am sure, God put devils in his heart. A Man without sense of good thinking.He was werewolf where his heart has blackhole and no feel pain.

Puisi Kesedihan

Aku melihat cahaya rembulan
Menyusup di sela kemilau rambutmu
Yang tertiup di angin malam

Senjaku datang dan kuberharap helaian rambutmu ada di elusan tanganku
Angin tersesat di penantian malam
Melintasi jejak siang yang tertinggal
Kuingin meraihmu sejenak dalam bayangan kabutku

Aku tahu hidupku tidak akan panjang
Untuk bisa menikmati patahan senyum kesedihanmu
Tentang cinta sejati yang telah terkubur bersama prahara masa lalumu

Lovely Day

Willing sometimes describe me powerness where i felt make me so indigenous. But when i met you, my willingness raising my softly sides. I got you in somewhere places warmed my armed and sees me in dark hole.

I have shame when i have heard judged me i am in believe about eternal love. But, i felt, you are nice told me about who really i am. Your kindness, open hearted, humouris of course.

I have imagined that you have been said i am cute girl with nice personality. I hope it is not your bubbling on me. Mostly people have called me man eater. I knew it called and i kept it so deepest in my heart because it was hurted me anyway.

You present now looks like surveillance my weakness and growth me somehow. I have agreed with you where love could be eternal and your attention would be praised on me, this moment. Thank you for being in me in lovely day.

You once said to me, when you found soulmate, you would be with her in quite places. I am in deeply curiously what describe of that place. But, i have mine. The picture above maybe represented crib where you belong with your soulmate and you said it was me.

YoU BelOng To Me

see the pyramids around the Nile
watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
just remember darling all the while -
you belong to me

see the marketplace in old Angier
send me photographs and souvenirs
just remember when a dream appears -
you belong to me

and I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too

fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again -
you belong to me

oh I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too

fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again -
you belong to me

PS: I Like this song to heard when i went to sleep...Nice Music....

See The Moonlight on Your Smile

SeE YoU in ParAdise ToNight
WheN The SiLver MoOn CoVer Up My EyEs
Got Your Smile in Groovy Style
You An AnGel in My SiDe

I Have been Waiting this so Longtime
I DreAMed OvER aNd OveR AgAin
So MisticAbLe ReLy in My HolDing HaNDs
WhEn TouCh YoUr SmiLe

SO I JusT Seen You iN RiGht PlaCe
I WonDeriNg LivE So ImPoSibble To ReacH
BuT When See The MoonLight on YouR Smile
You So Belong To Me

Sadness Over Me

i have many thousand times to moving forward then try find another reason why i must leave you behind. But, after i pushing my heart over my head, i was devastated knowing it was so impossible to it.

I haven seen you in many times within several described and places. On table,paper, sky, even star, then i was closed my eyes you were still there and knocking my heart so bad. I trying runaway from anything had mentioned about you. Little while i picking other pics on it, your gallery pullout them from my insanity.

I have still remembered your sadness ini your eyes when you said i never been existed without me. Your smile had been grain over and over so i couldnt helped my self to mourning anything sadness in your life.

Untill now, i have still heard your beautifull voice become orchestras so tender. Every moved we had ever been throuhgt still remains me today. Now and then, i wish God will showing us the right way for eternal love. I hope it.

Dark_Love_of_Me

So, maybe it will be the end of my passion of you. I knew earlier, this circumtances never been right for us. Just look forward, i think i was doing wrong with some my decision. I thought i just make some played for me. Could you remember at that time where you pick me for difficult situation? But, i think you dont know about these things. Surely.

I dont know your agreement of my own decision. I stepped down so long way and i didnt find the best things would be good for us. I have just thingking this our relation so complicated and there was worst behaviour gonna followed it our history.

I have remains all that our memory before. So many sweetest things and i admitted, i never been so jealousy in my many related love history. See? You even dont know how my-day in currently. soon or later, i should go then left you behind for all that moment we had been created.

I hated know this is must ended and you not been telling by me. Dont blamed me for left you after these happens between us. I just trying be realized for good and bad things. I never trying to play your heart but inside of part in my side either, i felt guilty for something. Sorry for me, ever.....!!!!!!!

"It's All Coming Back To Me Now"

if i heard this song, suddenly i remains that the day for someone who i loved. Then, this song represent my feeling, now and then, if i remembered him.


There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,

mY_daRk_SiDe

Maybe this not good time for complaint. I knew it and i felt it before. So, i have been trying pursuit anything facts behind me. Some guys come to me but i never knew what inside their thought. So, i must completely my sign of in it.

Lately days, i had confusing about my own self. I have caught my self stuck on dark labyrinth and put me away from light. I always being the same in this position. Good things, i look like find my joys, and bad things (as usual), i am so weakness fo severe damage would be happen to me. i think.

I must confessed my self. I telling my deeply inside heart for someone who i thought beloved with him.---> "one day you will find me as you ever promise to me. Has ever been just once you took me in your mind then tell your own heart how closely connected we are. That's way i trust in you wherever you been now. For bad and good times, love will brings us", saying me, so soft and tender.---->(some stupid words).

But, suddenly, i had laughing it more and more because i am insisted there some words does meant nothing for me. It was like shadow in dawn before sunrise comes and they are gone with lighting of the day. What and for who i created these words even a while i always made playing with some hearts over me and never realised it would be worst for the next, maybe especially for me,:(

I hated felt in love with you, i hated knowing you then made me so sad after that. But above all this, i hated you when i knew it you loved me so much than ever i thought before. You hurted me with your pure love.

bonding of love

Awalnya, Aku tidak tahu, seperti apa rasanya
kehilangan malam-malam ketenangan itu. Karena, aku pun
sering bertanya, benarkah malam-malam kemarin memang
ada? Aku pun sendiri tidak mengerti apakah hari yang
lalu itu memang pernah ada atau hanya sekedar bunga
kerinduan pada makna kesejatian cinta yang dititipkan
Sang Khalik ke hati insan Ciptaan-Nya?

Tiba-tiba, aku menjadi seorang yang peragu terhadap
diriku sendiri. Aku mencoba melemur hatiku dalam
ketidaktahuan makna. Dan ternyata,ketika kucoba
bernyanyi dalam sunyi, seketika itu aku yakin, aku pun
telah kehilangan hari-hariku belakangan ini.

Siapakah si pencuri itu? Saat aku bertanya Pada-Nya,
Ia hanya tersenyum dan membelaiku dengan sebuah
bisikan yang lembut. "Tidurlah, karena Aku yakin
mencintai adalah seperti menantang matahari.

For my dearest, i always think of you day and at night.....

hater-dreamer-lover

I have got my self trapped on two sides and hurt my anyway in that moment. I have been dreamed one day i found my true life would came to me and saying i will be happily ever after with someone who i beloved. When i was trying looking for my reflection, i did understood more people have opportunity doing the best in their life. I did but i felt some mistaken followed my footsteps.

I will always believe in enthusiasm connected with my own so i am no such great personality for making good kindness for me. I confession my own that i could not left behind on that way, someone whose leading my life for good things.

Good Lord, i missing my devoted love and i desperated for searching him. I hated times so slowly for me. Ever. Coz, i want his lovely face took over in my mind so i dont need painter making him so clearly. i have being hater, dreamer, and lover on this pattern.

most complicated things

There are no flights for how i came runaway from it. Without seeming own personality who will know credible people so far. I knew, synthesizes behaviour in that other person might be entirely was not right. But, who will look at me then saying am i right for that principle.

Yes, i did responsible for managing anything from past and it would be giving me opportunity external kind, maybe. Perhaps even desirable man met me, i will talk later how i missed my man from my last loving life.

Cast with an eye toward authenticity rather than just seeing by heart meaning so complicated for me. And, after some poeple saying to me about the best things, i am then agreed for one reason. Love without needed.

for my_lovely_boy

A LOVER'S COMPLAINT
A POEM BY
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

From off a hill whose concave womb reworded
A plaintful story from a sist'ring vale,
My spirits t'attend this double voice accorded,
And down I laid to list the sad-tuned tale,
Ere long espied a fickle maid full pale,
Tearing of papers, breaking rings atwain,
Storming her world with sorrow's wind and rain.
Upon her head a platted hive of straw,
Which fortified her visage from the sun,
Whereon the thought might think sometime it saw
The carcase of a beauty spent and done.
Time had not scythed all that youth begun,
Nor youth all quit, but spite of heaven's fell rage
Some beauty peeped through lattice of seared age.

Oft did she heave her napkin to her eyne,
Which on it had conceited characters,
Laund'ring the silken figures in the brine
That seasoned woe had pelleted in tears,
And often reading what contents it bears;
As often shrieking undistinguished woe
In clamours of all size, both high and low.

Sometimes her levelled eyes their carriage ride
As they did batt'ry to the spheres intend;
Sometime diverted their poor balls are tied
To th'orbed earth; sometimes they do extend
Their view right on; anon their gazes lend
To every place at once, and nowhere fixed,
The mind and sight distractedly commixed.

Her hair, nor loose nor tied in formal plait,
Proclaimed in her a careless hand of pride;
For some, untucked, descended her sheaved hat,
Hanging her pale and pined cheek beside;
Some in her threaden fillet still did bide,
And, true to bondage, would not break from thence,
Though slackly braided in loose negligence.

A thousand favours from a maund she drew
Of amber, crystal, and of beaded jet,
Which one by one she in a river threw,
Upon whose weeping margent she was set;
Like usury applying wet to wet,
Or monarch's hands that lets not bounty fall
Where want cries some, but where excess begs all.

Of folded schedules had she many a one,
Which she perused, sighed, tore, and gave the flood;
Cracked many a ring of posied gold and bone,
Bidding them find their sepulchres in mud;
Found yet moe letters sadly penned in blood,
With sleided silk feat and affectedly
Enswathed and sealed to curious secrecy.

These often bathed she in her fluxive eyes,
And often kissed, and often 'gan to tear;
Cried "O false blood, thou register of lies,
What unapproved witness dost thou bear!
Ink would have seemed more black and damned here!"
This said, in top of rage the lines she rents,
Big discontent so breaking their contents.

A reverend man that grazed his cattle nigh,
Sometime a blusterer that the ruffle knew
Of court, of city, and had let go by
The swiftest hours observed as they flew,
Towards this afflicted fancy fastly drew,
And, privileged by age, desires to know
In brief the grounds and motives of her woe.

So slides he down upon his grained bat,
And comely distant sits he by her side,
When he again desires her, being sat,
Her grievance with his hearing to divide.
If that from him there may be aught applied
Which may her suffering ecstasy assuage,
'Tis promised in the charity of age.

"Father," she says "though in me you behold
The injury of many a blasting hour,
Let it not tell your judgement I am old:
Not age, but sorrow over me hath power.
I might as yet have been a spreading flower,
Fresh to myself, if I had self-applied
Love to myself, and to no love beside.

"But, woe is me! too early I attended
A youthful suit -it was to gain my grace -
O, one by nature's outwards so commended
That maidens' eyes stuck over all his face.
Love lacked a dwelling and made him her place;
And when in his fair parts she did abide
She was new-lodged and newly deified.

"His browny locks did hang in crooked curls,
And every light occasion of the wind
Upon his lips their silken parcels hurls.
What's sweet to do, to do will aptly find:
Each eye that saw him did enchant the mind,
For on his visage was in little drawn
What largeness thinks in Paradise was sawn.

"Small show of man was yet upon his chin;
His phoenix down began but to appear,
Like unshorn velvet, on that termless skin,
Whose bare outbragged the web it seemed to wear;
Yet showed his visage by that cost more dear,
And nice affections wavering stood in doubt
If best were as it was, or best without.

"His qualities were beauteous as his form,
For maiden-tongued he was, and thereof free;
Yet, if men moved him, was he such a storm
As oft twixt May and April is to see,
When winds breathe sweet, unruly though they be.
His rudeness so with his authorized youth
Did livery falseness in a pride of truth.

"Well could he ride, and often men would say
`That horse his mettle from his rider takes:
Proud of subjection, noble by the sway,
What rounds, what bounds, what course, what stop he makes!'
And controversy hence a question takes,
Whether the horse by him became his deed,
Or he his manage by th' well-doing steed.

"But quickly on this side the verdict went:
His real habitude gave life and grace
To appertainings and to ornament,
Accomplished in himself, not in his case.
All aids, themselves made fairer by their place,
Came for additions; yet their purposed trim
Pieced not his grace, but were all graced by him.

"So on the tip of his subduing tongue
All kind of arguments and question deep,
All replication prompt, and reason strong,
For his advantage still did wake and sleep.
To make the weeper laugh, the laugher weep,
He had the dialect and different skill,
Catching all passions in his craft of will,

"That he did in the general bosom reign
Of young, of old, and sexes both enchanted,
To dwell with him in thoughts, or to remain
In personal duty, following where he haunted.
Consents bewitched, ere he desire, have granted,
And dialogued for him what he would say,
Asked their own wills, and made their wills obey.

"Many there were that did his picture get
To serve their eyes, and in it put their mind;
Like fools that in th'imagination set
The goodly objects which abroad they find
Of lands and mansions, theirs in thought assigned,
And labour in moe pleasures to bestow them
Than the true gouty landlord which doth owe them.

"So many have, that never touched his hand,
Sweetly supposed them mistress of his heart.
My woeful self, that did in freedom stand,
And was my own fee-simple, not in part,
What with his art in youth, and youth in art,
Threw my affections in his charmed power,
Reserved the stalk and gave him all my flower.

"Yet did I not, as some my equals did,
Demand of him, nor being desired yielded;
Finding myself in honour so forbid,
With safest distance I mine honour shielded.
Experience for me many bulwarks builded
Of proofs new-bleeding, which remained the foil
Of this false jewel and his amorous spoil.

"But ah, who ever shunned by precedent
The destined ill she must herself assay?
Or forced examples 'gainst her own content
To put the by-past perils in her way?
Counsel may stop awhile what will not stay,
For when we rage, advice is often seen
By blunting us to make our wills more keen.

"Nor gives it satisfaction to our blood
That we must curb it upon others' proof,
To be forbod the sweets that seems so good
For fear of harms that preach in our behoof.
O appetite, from judgement stand aloof!
The one a palate hath that needs will taste,
Though reason weep, and cry `It is thy last'.

"For further I could say this man's untrue,
And knew the patterns of his foul beguiling;
Heard where his plants in others' orchards grew;
Saw how deceits were gilded in his smiling;
Knew vows were ever brokers to defiling;
Thought characters and words merely but art,
And bastards of his foul adulterate heart.

"And long upon these terms I held my city,
Till thus he 'gan besiege me: `Gentle maid,
Have of my suffering youth some feeling pity,
And be not of my holy vows afraid.
That's to ye sworn to none was ever said;
For feasts of love I have been called unto,
Till now did ne'er invite nor never woo.

" `All my offences that abroad you see
Are errors of the blood, none of the mind;
Love made them not; with acture they may be,
Where neither party is nor true nor kind.
They sought their shame that so their shame did find;
And so much less of shame in me remains
By how much of me their reproach contains.

" `Among the many that mine eyes have seen,
Not one whose flame my heart so much as warmed,
Or my affection put to th' smallest teen,
Or any of my leisures ever charmed.
Harm have I done to them, but ne'er was harmed;
Kept hearts in liveries, but mine own was free,
And reigned commanding in his monarchy.

" `Look here what tributes wounded fancies sent me
Of pallid pearls and rubies red as blood,
Figuring that they their passions likewise lent me
Of grief and blushes, aptly understood
In bloodless white and the encrimsoned mood -
Effects of terror and dear modesty,
Encamped in hearts, but fighting outwardly.

" `And lo, behold these talents of their hair,
With twisted metal amorously impleached,
I have received from many a several fair,
Their kind acceptance weepingly beseeched,
With the annexions of fair gems enriched,
And deep-brained sonnets that did amplify
Each stone's dear nature, worth, and quality.

" `The diamond? -why, 'twas beautiful and hard,
Whereto his invised properties did tend;
The deep-green em'rald, in whose fresh regard
Weak sights their sickly radiance do amend;
The heaven-hued sapphire and the opal blend
With objects manifold: each several stone,
With wit well blazoned, smiled or made some moan.
" `Lo, all these trophies of affections hot,
Of pensived and subdued desires the tender,
Nature hath charged me that I hoard them not,
But yield them up where I myself must render -
That is to you, my origin and ender;
For these, of force, must your oblations be,
Since I their altar, you enpatron me.

" `O then advance of yours that phraseless hand,
Whose white weighs down the airy scale of praise.
Take all these similes to your own command,
Hallowed with sighs that burning lungs did raise.
What me your minister, for you obeys,
Works under you, and to your audit comes
Their distract parcels in combined sums.

" `Lo, this device was sent me from a nun,
A sister sanctified, of holiest note,
Which late her noble suit in court did shun,
Whose rarest havings made the blossoms dote;
For she was sought by spirits of richest coat,
But kept cold distance, and did thence remove
To spend her living in eternal love.

" `But, O my sweet, what labour is't to leave
The thing we have not, mast'ring what not strives,
Planing the place which did no form receive,
Playing patient sports in unconstrained gyves!
She that her fame so to herself contrives,
The scars of battle scapeth by the flight,
And makes her absence valiant, not her might.

" `O pardon me, in that my boast is true!
The accident which brought me to her eye
Upon the moment did her force subdue,
And now she would the caged cloister fly:
Religious love put out religion's eye.
Not to be tempted, would she be immured,
And now to tempt, all liberty procured.

" `How mighty then you are, O hear me tell!
The broken bosoms that to me belong
Have emptied all their fountains in my well,
And mine I pour your ocean all among.
I strong o'er them, and you o'er me being strong,
Must for your victory us all congest,
As compound love to physic your cold breast.

" `My parts had power to charm a sacred nun,
Who, disciplined, ay, dieted in grace,
Believed her eyes when they t'assail begun,
All vows and consecrations giving place.
O most potential love! -vow, bond, nor space,
In thee hath neither sting, knot, nor confine,
For thou art all, and all things else are thine.

" `When thou impressest, what are precepts worth
Of stale example? When thou wilt inflame,
How coldly those impediments stand forth,
Of wealth, of filial fear, law, kindred, fame!
Love's arms are peace, 'gainst rule, 'gainst sense, 'gainst shame;
And sweetens, in the suff'ring pangs it bears,
The aloes of all forces, shocks, and fears.

" `Now all these hearts that do on mine depend,
Feeling it break, with bleeding groans they pine,
And supplicant their sighs to you extend,
To leave the batt'ry that you make 'gainst mine,
Lending soft audience to my sweet design,
And credent soul to that strong-bonded oath
That shall prefer and undertake my troth.'

"This said, his wat'ry eyes he did dismount,
whose sights till then were levelled on my face;
Each cheek a river running from a fount
With brinish current downward flowed apace.
O how the channel to the stream gave grace!
Who glazed with crystal gate the glowing roses
That flame through water which their hue encloses.

"O father, what a hell of witchcraft lies
In the small orb of one particular tear!
But with the inundation of the eyes
What rocky heart to water will not wear?
What breast so cold that is not warmed here?
O cleft effect! Cold modesty, hot wrath,
Both fire from hence and chill extincture hath.

"For lo, his passion, but an art of craft,
Even there resolved my reason into tears;
There my white stole of chastity I daffed,
Shook off my sober guards and civil fears;
Appear to him as he to me appears,
All melting; though our drops this diff'rence bore:
His poisoned me, and mine did him restore.

"In him a plenitude of subtle matter,
Applied to cautels, all strange forms receives,
Of burning blushes or of weeping water,
Or swooning paleness; and he takes and leaves,
In either's aptness, as it best deceives,
To blush at speeches rank, to weep at woes,
Or to turn white and swoon at tragic shows,

"That not a heart which in his level came
Could scape the hail of his all-hurting aim,
Showing fair nature is both kind and tame;
And, veiled in them, did win whom he would maim.
Against the thing he sought he would exclaim;
When he most burned in heart-wished luxury
He preached pure maid and praised cold chastity.

"Thus merely with the garment of a grace
The naked and concealed fiend he covered,
That th'unexperient gave the tempter place,
Which like a cherubin above them hovered.
Who, young and simple, would not be so lovered?
Ay me, I fell; and yet do question make
What I should do again for such a sake.

"O, that infected moisture of his eye,
O, that false fire which in his cheek so glowed,
O, that forced thunder from his heart did fly,
O, that sad breath his spongy lungs bestowed,
O, all that borrowed motion, seeming owed,
Would yet again betray the fore-betrayed,
And new pervert a reconciled maid."

sweet couple

so many question in my life

last night, i was dreaming so badly. No something scared but memorized about someone still haunted me. I walked down on quite street then suddenly he came and pulled over me with his hands.

i was not scared for his acted. But, i was afraid for his biggest love for me. I have scent his odor sorrounded me and unfortunately i could not escaped from itu. It was haunted my whole night.

I Felt down on my bed. Why he was come in my life after happened between us. I was trying eliminated everything whereas would be so make me desperated. A While i woke up i was very free of worry i found my self did not reached by him. Thank God, for helped me.

my_soulmate

I have seen you in many times in my dream. Drawing my life with your fingers. All of this, i never understand, why people were trying separated us whereas i have feeling then you are my soulmate.

Then, i wish, i could runaway with you, ever....!!!!!!

PS: Always missing you in this moment

Denting

Adakah yang lebih indah dari sebuah rindu yang terkatakan lewat malam sepi dan ketika lelap masuk menjadi pemberi jarak antara kita. Sebuah rindu yang selalu ada dan tak pernah hilang meski wajah dan senyumannya hanya samar dalam bayangan. Lagu Melly ini sebuah pembuktian tentang absurditas sebuah rindu

Denting yang berbunyi dari dinding kamarku
sedarkan diriku dari lamunan panjang
Tak terasa malam kini semakin larut
Ku masih terjaga


Sayang kau dimana aku ingin bersama
Aku butuh semua untuk tepiskan rindu
Mungkinkah kau disana merasa yang sama
Seperti dinginku di malam ini


Rintik gerimis mengundang kekasih di malam ini
Kita menari dalam rindu yang indah
Sepi ku rasa hatiku saat ini oh sayangku
Jika kau disini aku tenang

dreaming of me

i would rather you here and standing beside than you just dreaming of me from so far.On the right side, i supposed would leading you into a romance life but some pieces of me really needed you at once now inside my heart.

Some lovers seen so adorable and talking with sweetest things. But, you know that, i never want you said something. It doesn’t take long before and we both knew there many reason why our feeling being connected so deeply.

Maybe it just time and everybody knows how strong and strange about love. Who will denied it. Life so polished by it and later i knew why people would sacrifice everything for love. It just started little while some friction come over me but i thought i will swept away it from our lines.

How sweet yours today?????? Just dreaming of me. Me Only and ever after

who wants to live forever

Ini adalah salah satu lagu favoritku dan dengan kedalaman makna dari liriknya membawa aku dalam sebuah ketenangan pencarian hidup. Who wants to Live Forever by Sarah Brigthman

Theres no time for us,
Theres no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams,
Yet slips away from us.

Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever, .....?

Theres no chance for us,
Its all decided for us,
This world has only one sweet moment
Set aside for us.

Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever, .....?

Now touch my tears with your lips,
Touch my world with your fingertips,
And we can have forever,
And we can love forever,
Forever is our today.

Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever, .....?

Who waits forever anyway

I miss my cats

where are they now?
I wish they are come and into my hugs
where are they now
I wish i could get more happines now and then.......
misss yaa.......

somewhere at moment

There are some decision appeared to knowing about deepestly secret. A while never think about how imposed all your memorized behind me. If i knew how to let this going through i will fullfil my needs to forgotten you.

Maybe i tought you will coming to my early morning life then we spent together for enjoyed sun a while we walked on beach. How many people would see us and i think they would ignored it.

Well, i am still hope you will remaind that day where we hung up delicate dreams so i still took my wishes to you. There are larger life waiting for used it.

The Prayer

Seberapa jauh kamu melangkah, kamu akan kembali di mana kamu berasal....Seperti angin yang bertiup dan membawa ke arah kebebasan iman dan kepercayaan. Seperti apakah sebuah keabadian akan menjadi serapuh kertas. Mungkin hanya waktu yang bisa memberikan jawaban atas semua pertanyaan yang tiba-tiba saja muncul dan berbahasa melalui pikiranku.

Hanya sepi yang membuatku merasa tenang... Hanya mendengar desiran angin pagi dan kembali membuat mataku terlelap. Seketika bayangan senja menukik dan menyadarkan aku segera untuk bangun dan menantang hari.

Leaving on Jet Plane

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

I'm ...

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say ...

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

And I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

But I'm leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
(Leaving) On a jet plane

little dreaming in my spot day

I had been in these difficult times for a moment. It just hard to say, i am longer so weakly then stronger after my bad times came over me. I was still kept my little dreaming about onething.

So, during that periode i lost my special one. I am so leaked because when i was trying searching my old friendship, suddenly it was gone leave me very though most of my memorize destroyed my ownself.

I know, it is not matter of jockeying for sadness but above all, i am understand my little dreaming on my spot day. I painted my experiance with surealize style. And i cant hard wait for seeing my beau lovely..........................love and forever for him

10 Things U Mad About Me

Ada 10 hal yang membuatmu marah tentang aku
1. Kamu marah jika aku hanya menulis kata I Love U tanpa pernah mengucapkannya
2. Kamu marah jika aku selalu mengatakan hal yang tak penting
3. Kamu marah jika aku selalu begadang
4. Kamu marah jika aku mengabaikan kamu
5. Kamu marah jika aku selingkuh
6. Kamu marah jika aku selalu mengabaikan kesehatanku
7. Kamu marah jika tak segera menjawab sapaanmu
8. Kamu marah jika aku terlalu egois dalam setiap pembicaraan
9. Kamu marah jika aku menghabiskan waktu dengan bekerja
10 Kamu marah jika aku tak bisa mengerti apa yang kamu maksud

Bagi sebagian orang marah adalah aspek negatif kehidupan. Tapi, bagi aku, tanpa marahmu, maka duniaku akan menjadi sangat sunyi dan nelangsa dalam ketidakberdayaan

Broken Vow by Josh Groban

Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
I need to see his face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
When I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

[Chorus:]
I let you go
I let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

[Chorus]

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes

I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end

[Modified Chorus:]
I let you go
I let you fly
Now that I know I’m asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

PS:
Saya kira lirik lagu ini sangat indah dan menggambarkan kedalaman perasaan cinta terhadap seseorang. Then, i will dedicated this song for everyone has feel like this
By Widya

Endless Love

Kemarin,
Aku masih menyisakan sedikit hari untuk berbagi cerita dengan angin. Membelainya sejenak lalu berharap ia bisa membaca kegelisahanku. Namun, seiring dengan gelap yang datang, rembulan pun seolah enggan menemani aku di sela-sela penat kesepian yang kian menguasai alam jiwaku. Aku memang sedikit berlega melihat gugusan gemintang tersenyum manis meski tak menyapaku dengan suguhan kata manisnya
Kini,
Aku menghantar hari dengan tanya tanpa sebab. Seperti membayangkan kegelisahan matahari yang sebentar lagi ditutupi awan menjelang musim penghujan. Panahan cahayanya tidak bisa menembus kulit bumi dan menyembunyikannya di dasar perutnya.
Esok,
Ada sebuah harapan tentang asa, pergulatan jiwa, dan langkah sang perkasa menantang kerasnya kehidupan. Membangunkan sang penidur untuk selalu siaga menjaga cinta dan kebajikan alam nan hakiki
Bagi aku,
Kemarin,Kini, dan Esok tetap menyajikan sebuah warna cahaya cinta karena keberadaan dari sang kekasih yang kini berada di dunia antah berantah romantisme khayalan ala roman picisan.

For dearest Love, most things i want to do is being with you always

Great Expectations

While i was sleeping, i found my self sat on beach, was looking around for something. Honestly, i never know where my heart will go,so, i waiting for that moment then push away my dream about him.

Walking down on the beach by my own self so meaning curious on me. What sign of that dream? Did I have great expectations for my future love but in other side, for reality, i just got less what i want.

I have many things to do for this time. Someone told me to remembrance to him, for our past where we going through in good and bad times. I can not lie to my self then i still wishing him come to me and spent our limited time for reply old memorized.

I want all about this back and we were build our dream into reality. Have kids, living on beach side then we going to older, we have seen our kids playing on small ground then we created small world for our own. He ever said to me as he wanted living so far from busy people. We enjoyed our live with love and romance stories so we could shared it for our kids when they are being adults.

So, i woke up and tears on to my cheeks. I have realized that moment never come bak again. Sometimes i am asking my self, why i never get what i want. I never ask more. I just want ordinary people in my life. Then why it was so tough for me?

And this time, i remembrance him then i would keeping it deeply in my heart, forever

In the Dew

Makna sebuah kesempurnaan adalah saat kekurangan dua invidu menyatu. Aku masih ingat beberapa tahun lalu, seseorang menanyakan tentang arti sebuah kebersamaan dan tentu saja sebuah kesempurnaan hidup. Di masa belia itu, aku hanya tersenyum dan kemudian berjalan acuh meninggalkan sang penanya.

Dalam alur kehidupanku selanjutnya, aku banyak menemukan orang-orang yang berusaha mencari kesempurnaan mulai dari gaya hidup, kekasih, ataupun teman-teman yang mereka bisa ajak jalan bersama.

Lalu, biografi hidupku mencatat banyak kisah baik manis, menyenangkan, pahit, ataupun juga menantang. Beribu kata telah tertuang dan mungkin juga luka telah menggores dan meninggalkan bekas. Tetapi, yang aku tahu, Tuhan selalu membuka mata dan melihat ke arah mana kakiku membawa diri.

Dan makna kesempurnaan bisa ditemukan di mana saja. Pada titik embun yang menghiasi kaca jendela, pada senyum bijak di wajah orang tua, ataupun pada sapaan kekasih yang sedang merindu. Semuanya, adalah kesempurnaan hakiki milik Tuhan. Aku pun bersyukur bahwa makna kesempurnaan seorang kekasih telah kutemukan dan barangkali aku masih perlu belajar mengenai makna kesempurnaan dari seorang Adam yang diciptakan serta dilengkapkan dengan kehadiran Hawa.

while mess things come

sometimes i hate my self while i woke up in the morning and thinking my self so fatigue. Nothing causing about my work, but, how making my feeling willing good anytime. So, i felt bad about it and suddenly i want you come here with me.

Good and bad things always come and seeing alternative way i would got. I want then my life better and better get some faboulous colours in my own life. I wishing it a thousand times then i want you always be here with me forever and then. I wish i could touch my lover face and bared on his holding hands.

When i was walking around on my side yard, i have been trying understand how people to look at me then taken their perception on them. Even it was so hard for me but i knew, it was never been the same like the old.

E, For now and then, loving you always gave me inspiration

November Rain

Ini awal November yang sangat menyenangkan. Bukan karena ini permulaan hari tetapi November memang selalu menyajikan kesegaran dan keteduhan. Betapa tidak, November selalu hadir setelah musim panas yang panjang dan terasa sangat menyesakkan. Tadi pagi, aku melihat ke atas langit dan bayangan air hujan yang akan segera turun memang menjanjikan sebuah asa yang tak pernah putus.

Kegembiraan yang selalu aku tunggu ini semoga akan menjadi pelipur laraku ketika tiba-tiba kesedihan datang dan tak bisa menguak semua penyelesaian yang terbaik bagi semua pihak termasuk aku.

desperated girl

When i was started this relationship i wish i could take advantage after my last. But, now i am so desperated about partnership of mine. i felt polarized from my past then diminished my capability to make boy of mine trust on me. I hope i could give him sober and more sober than beofore.

Suddenly, i have lost mind, i would told him about the end of this. But i couldnt do it. He always said about an affair again and again. So word make me sick because i had ever did before and i won't do that again. i wish i leaping this time and going to future then i never seen it all this time over on me.

I flused my memorized and just trying on hold for current situation. That might be i am kind of girls where he was thinking always doing affair. Maybe, time will explained for him about deeply my feeling. Then my heart so be true part of him

widya, on desperated feeling

Farzad_only

Iran adalah sumber inspirasi. Negara yang menjadi sebuah buah bibir yang mengakar dalam cerita masal lalu dan menjadi akar masa kini dan masa mendatang. Iran adalah sebuah pembangkangan terhadap kekejian kediktatoran masa kini.

Namun, di sisi lain, Iran bagiku adalah sebuah misteri kehidupan yang diciptakan Tuhan. Yaitu musik yang disalurkan melalui seorang musikus bernama Farzad Golpayegani. Musisi yang lahir pada Mei 1979 ini seolah menjadi mata rantai dari serpihan kisah Darius I Yang Agung. Sang raja yang memerintah dengan penghambaan murni kepada Tuhan.

Farzad bagian dari perkembangan musik cadas di negara yang mayoritas pemeluk beragama Islam. Farzad bagiku adalah sebuah jati diri Islam yang kaya akan perkembangan literatur seni dan kebudayaan yang tinggi sejak berabad-abad lampau.

Aeonflux

"Hidup ini harus dijalani sekali saja dan dengan sebuah kenangan dan memori yang sangat indah," itulah makna yang aku dapatkan dari kalimat yang dilontarkan Aeoflux dalam film futuristik karya sutradara perempuan asal Jepang, Karyn Kusama, berjudul Aoenflux.

Aku tahu, memang terkadang hidup ini tak menawarkan sebuah kegairahan dan membawa ke sebuah kemonotonan hidup. Berjalan dalam sebuah keragu-raguan hanya akan membawa orang-orang dalam kesia-siaan. Kemana dan akan berujung ke mana hidupnya nanti. Bisakah mereka memaknai hidupnya dengan begitu baik dan indah.

Tetapi, di sisi lain, ada riak eksotisme yang bisa didapatkan dari mendengarkan setiap irama yang terbangun dari hidup. Jalan memang mesti berliku, kesedihan dan kebahagian selalu berjalan beriringan dan semestinya manusia bisa menerima semuanya dengan hati dan pikiran yang terbuka.

Sayangnya, tidak semua orang bisa melakukan hal itu. Ada keserakahan dan ketamakan yang selalu bermain dalam pikiran ragawi manusia. Harta, kekuasaan, kebatilan, dan juga kedengkian.

Yang aku tahu adalah, aku hanya ingin hidup sekali dan mati dalam sebuah kedamaian hakiki. Bahagia sekali, jatuh cinta sekali, menikah sekali, dan mati pun sekali. Setelah itu, aku hanya ingin hidup di dunia yang dijanjikan Sang Khalik di mana aku akan bertemu dengan kekasih yang sebenarnya

Widya

jalan terasing

Sepertinya aku telah tiba di sebuah titik di mana aku tak bisa lagi berputar dan menelusuri jalan yang sama. Semua seperti buram yang menutupi sebagian kaca jendela oleh embun pagi. Mungkin aku telah memilih jalan yang salah dan baru sadar ketika telah melewati jalan itu sepenggalan waktu.

Di satu sisi, aku merasa terasing dengan jalan yang aku lalui itu. Meski kuakui hal ini memang seperti memberikan ekstasi terhadap perjalananku tetapi tanpa aku sadari telah menarik diriku jauh ke dalam sebuah keterasingan hidup yang sama sekali bukan diriku.

Aku mencoba berhenti sejenak dan berharap bisa kembali, namun ujung jalan tersebut sudah menghilang dan pencapaian tempatku sudah membawa ke sebuah akhir yang sebenarnya aku harapkan bisa membawa kebahagiaan kepadaku.

Gila Urusan

"Wid, rambut kamu kok tambah merah sih," kata salah seorang rekan kerja (yang kebetulan banget cowok) Dalam hati sih, aku mengumpat, lha ini urusan aku dong kalau rambutku dimodel apa saja dan diwarnai dengan warna tembaga sekalipun. Lagian, kok cowok mau ngurusin semua hal kayak gini. "Selama aku senang aku akan melakukan yang terbaik bagi diriku," pikirku. Seorang kawan jauh dan baru bertemu usai Lebaran "menatap" dengan pandangan heran.

"Wid, kok kamu tambah kurus, diet ya," tanyanya dengan mata membelalak. Spontan saja aku malu banget. Ngomongnya di depan orang banyak. Persoalannya memang bukan itu. Aku termasuk orang yang anti menyiksa tubuh hanya untuk mendapatkan sesuatu yang ideal. Termasuk diet-diet-an. Tapi, saat aku beri jawaban, kawan ini (untunglah ia perempuan, jadi kenyinyirannya aku tolerir saja) hanya terbahak. Lagian, kalau orang kurus bukan berarti diet. Bisa saja lagi memang gak bisa makan, punya gangguan pola makan, atau memang malas makan. beda dong dengan diet.

"Malas makan,katamu," jawabnya, sambil berbisik. Aku cuman tersenyum kecut saja. Bagiku, berdebat hal yang sepele adalah suatu hal yang sangat melelahkan. Makanya, aku heran banget saat banyak orang yang "rela" berdebat dengan aku. "Bisa-bisanya," kataku dalam hati. Tapi, untuk ini, aku hanya melambaikan tangan dan mengatakan cuek saja lagi.

Nah, ini yang paling bikin dongkol. Kemarin, pas nonton Dealova di RCTI, Kamis (26/10/2006), seorang rekan kerja nyeletuk. "Kayaknya, widi pas kalau pake pink juga," komentarnya setelah melihat seorang pemain mengenakan pakaian pink. Aku benar-benar sangat marah. Orang ini yang selama aku kerja bener-bener bikin tekanan darah naik. Kalau di matanya aku "gak modis" dia yang paling ribut. Padahal, dia cowok yang udah nikah. Menyebalkan banget.

"Urusan busana adalah urusan saya, mau saya pakai warna norak sekalipun itu urusan saya," kataku sambil menatap tajam kepadanya.

"Ini kan wujud perhatian teman," katanya, membela diri. Aku menatapnya tajam sambil tersenyum kecut.

"Inilah manusia, selalu merasa mengetahui yang terbaik bagi orang lain dan merasa punya andil untuk mengubah seseorang. Lucu sekali," ketusku. Baru saja ia mau bicara, aku kemudian memotongnya.

"Lihat saja di infotaimen, dan berita seleb luar negeri. Sampai tindik hidung pun diperbincangkan apakah pas atau tidak. Tas hingga pakaian dan syal pun tak luput. Manusia merasa punya hak mengetahui tentang jati diri seseorang sementara mereka sendiri mengelak untuk dimasuki kehidupannya,"

Ia cuma tersenyum pendek. Aku lalu melanjutkan," kamu itu pengintai dan menganggu privasi serta melakukan perbuatan tidak menyenangkan. Aku bisa menuntut kamu karena membuat aku merasa tidak nyaman dengan segala komentarmu," tambahku. Ia hanya melirik sekilas ke arahku dan matanya kembali menatap ke arah televisi. Aku tahu, meski matanya ke televisi, ia tidak konsentrasi penuh.

Sebelum meninggalkannya, aku sempat mengacungkan tiga jari. "Tapi,aku rasa kamu tidak akan peduli, toh hukuman penjaranya cuman tiga bulan," kataku. Sebenarnya, tidak enak banget deh soalnya baru saja Lebaran, maaf-maafan. Tapi, kalau gak di beri batas, wah, mereka pada ngelunjak dan seenaknya membuat komentar yang gak enak.

Daripada aku makan hati mending diberi pembalasan yang setimpal. rekan kerja itu lalu ngeloyor pergi sementara teman lain datang padaku. Belum lagi rekan kerja itu bicara saya sudah memberikan "wejangan" kepadanya.

"Kamu tahu kan aku orangnya tidak mudah marah. Aku akrab banget dan juga suka bercanda. Tapi, setiap orang punya pembatas yang tak boleh dilewati dan harus dihargai oleh orang lain. Manusia hidup untuk saling mengerti dan aku rasa mereka sudah melewati batas merah yang aku buat untuk kehidupan pribadiku," kataku, panjang lebar.

Teman ini hanya diam dan duduk di sampingku. Mungkin ia merasa agak tersindir karena selama ini, ia terlalu mau tahu dengan siapa aku jalan, siapa pacarku, dan hal-hal yang tidak perlu dibicarakan pada banyak orang.

Maafkan aku Tuhan karena telah membicarakan orang lain di blog ini.
Widya

something to remember

Here we come together getting faith for unsure. How life so mistically then make us each other to suspicious. I dont know why it was very weird for me. Because i never think this is will be my choice.

While i am going to far for this moment, my life so distraction. Compelling me like somewhere never been there. Then why mus afraid about one thing? I am so afraid about our distance and untrust between you and me. Look far from this way make me abandoned all memorize about you but i am realized i couldnt do it. Forever. So, i making this moment to say there is something to remember.

Widya

In The Name of Allah

In The Name of Allah, I will showing you how bigger Love will controlling Your Life. In The Name of Allah, I will showing you the tracking inside where you think sources of love begun.

How many times in your life feeling touching about love. Then, suddenly you thought love so cruel behind you. Walking into dream and landed in place where you feel belongs.

In The Name of Allah, I want making sure you are the only one i have now and ever.

Widya

Laila Majnun

Cinta dalam dunia tasawuf adalah cinta yang buta. Yang
ada di depannya hanya kegelapan serta penunjuk jalan
dari sebuah wewangian. Tak pernah mengenal materi,
ion-ion karena materi dan ion itu adalah nisbi di
hadapannya.

Apakah kamu pernah bisa menyentuh angin. Padahal kamu
yakin angin itu ada dan senantiasa membawa kesegaran
ketika kamu merasakan kepenatan. Apakah cinta itu
khayal? ataukah nafsu?

Aku melihat cinta dari kacamata seorang Laila yang
mencinta. Ketika Laila meninggal dan Majnun membaui
setiap depa jalan yang dilalui kekasihnya, aku
akhirnya mengerti cinta mereka bukanlah cinta yang
berlandaskan materi.

Laila mencintai sebagian roh Allah yang bersemayam di
dalam dada Majnun. Sementara Majnun menyanjung Laila
karena perempuan itu adalah bagian dari tulang
rusuknya yang hilang. Roh mereka adalah satu adanya.
Aku, kamu, dan semua orang dimuka bumi ini disatukan
oleh cinta Sang Khalik.

Maka, ketika kematian menjadi jalan terakhir bagi
mereka, adakah yang menyangkal bahwa cinta adalah
sesuatu yang bukan kasat mata. Aku ragu bahwa jasad mereka
akan saling mengenali pada saat hari berbangkit tiba.
Kenapa? karena mereka dipersatukan oleh roh Allah,
bukan dari sesuatu yang terbuat dari tanah liat yang
kering dan busuk.

It was my email for someone, two years ago
widya

Ekstasi Cinta

Bukan makna yang hilang dan harus dicari. Bukan sepi yang menggigit dan harus diberangus. Tetapi, rasa rindu yang membuncah dan merepih di setiap desah nafas dan menyisakan kesakitan nikmat nan absurd.

Jika diri telah hilang dalam kemarahan asmara tak nyana risau hati makin nelangsa. Seperti sebuah buluh perindu yang menusuk-nusuk jiwa tentang ingatan sang kekasih di sebuah dunia berantah yang berbeda.

Benarkah elegi cinta adalah sesuatu yang muskil. Sebuah elegi dari sang pengembara dan menemukan dirinya menjadi pencinta sejati dengan seorang musafir di padang pasir. Keelokan dari hari lalu seperti dahaga yang baru bisa terbayarkan setelah memadu cinta dengan sang ekstasi nan memabukkan.

Say U Say Me

How many people would say about light of moon will shimmering sky so bright. My feeling describe things so complicated. Suddenly i felt like childish and hoping he came to me and smile at me for a while. Maybe just a dream lover.

Then, i walked around my own things and have seem many things flowing over my head. God, will i find something very uniquely in my life oneday? Should i feel sad before i took my destiny. So i could walk around me for long lasting love

poet for my lover

Adakah yang hilang saat sepi membawa kebencian?
seperti angin yang membawa hembusan kesedihan yang terantuk di penghujung penggalah waktu

aku menanti gemericik embun pagi yang terjatuh di rangkaian dedaunan
saat suara sang penidur membisikkan rangkaian kata
aku merindu pada adam yang terdampar jauh di seberang senja

Bilakah kerinduan insani ini akan bertaut?

My Madam

Hal berat adalah sebuah kenyataan saat kita tidak mengetahui seberapa besar perhatian seseorang terhadap kita dan baru saja kita menyadarinya setelah semuanya berlalu begitu saja.

Ini kata-kata yang diucapkan seseorang terhadap saya dan saya akhirnya mengerti mengapa ia kemudian berlalu dan tidak pernah mengatakan apapun kepada saya. Ini bukan sebuah kepuraa-puraan yang akhirnya terungkap dan menjadi sebuah cerita singkat dan pada akhirnya saya akui memberikan peranan besar terhadap sebuah keadaan yang sangat menyedihkan.

Saya masih ingat rambutnya yang pirang dengan sunggingan senyum kecil dan memanggil saya dengan sebutan "My Madam". Sebuah sebutan manis dan sangat menyenangkan terdengar di telinga saya. Boleh jadi, ini bukan sebuah bentuk penggambaran kebencian terhadap saya ketika ia memutuskan untuk segera berlalu dan tidak pernah akan memberikan lelucon segarnya. Saya akan mengerti makna kebencian itu dan itu tidak perlu dimakna sebagai sebuah kesedihan bagi diri saya dan bagi orang lain yang tidak pernah saya temui lagi. Selamanya.